I look to the sun to try and carry on.
The rain slowly washes away the tears from my eyes. I hear the sound of no other footsteps but your own. Pacing towards me as though something is keeping you at a distance. My head bowed in the silence I feared most.
I’m losing you.
The sidewalk glimmers with a sense of beauty: the cracks show the dignity of years of survival. But not in me. I’m at the disposal of my wasted youth. Trying to fulfill every emotion with satisfaction. But I’m stuck. My head looks up as your hand graces my cheek. You’re cold. You’re wet. You’re eyes can’t seem to find that piece of me that held you here.
I’ve lost you.
My hands grab your wrist as my lips meet the palm of your hand. You’ve always smelled of licorice and daisies. I let my eyes glance at you one more time. The soft shape of your face, your protruding nose and the way your lips curl up when your cold. If I could only hold you one more time, only feel your warm touch on my soft skin- it will all be fine. It will all be okay. With your two fingers placed gently on my chin, you pick my head up. You kiss my lips once more, soft and sweetly. You linger there for a minute in the space I long for you to be in. You whisper in my ear, my mind doesn’t register the words until I see your back walking towards the emptiness that will take you from me. Suddenly it’s clear: “I will always love you. Goodbye.” You said. And then you’re gone.
It was a plausible possibility that yes, somewhere deep lied inside me- the symphony of love that lusted for your melody. But the agony surrounding me; my mind only left to curiosity. Determined to find the reality, of the person I was meant to be. But, sadly as tales can end tragically- I never factually found myself lost over a love that never lived.
I sit and listen to the lies behind my eyes
Devastated again; let down by my own hands
that grasp at your neck.
My quick tongue sprung up again,
licking up the luxuries I tell you
[I’m lying, listen- don’t love me]
as I begin to smile for your eyes.
I let my lips linger on your lucious love
[I’ll try my best to clean up the mess]
Letting go of my clothes; gently touching temptation
[Forget about me - it’s best]
Suffer sedated, I’m hating myself
as I close the door.
Gently, you’re smiling; but let the truth in
the lies are left there; you’re placed in my sin